Badass Immigration Enforcement!

The U.S., I mean.  Yup!  We’ve got a badass immigration enforcement policy here!  And I’m going to explain why below.

But let me state my position on immigration up front, so you all know exactly where I stand, which should tell you where my ideas for a better path come from.  And I’ve only even thought about it, due to the situation with the number of illegal immigrants we have in this country from Mexico.  I think that’s where everyone thinks of, when they think of illegal immigration these days.  I think that’s because that’s where our biggest problem is by far.  Of course, that’s probably because Mexico is right on our border.  I don’t think many people who can afford a flight across the Atlantic are trying to get here, to make a better life.

First, I am not anti-immigration.  This nation was built on immigrants.  The first Americans were people who immigrated to this land from England and some other countries.

Second, I do not claim to know all of the ins-and-outs of the immigration issue, as to what qualifies someone to be able to try to become a U.S. citizen.  But with the number of illegal immigrants in this country, I have to think that there has to be a better way than what we have now.  After all, people are literally dying to get in!  That alone however, does not mean that we should just open our borders and let the masses run in.  While the bleeding heart liberals may claim that is the solution, all it would do is bring down the quality of life for millions of Americans, increase crime and cause all sorts of other issues.  Contrary to what the liberals claim, they are not all just “hard working immigrants, looking for a better life and willing to work hard for it”.  That’s been widely disproved and yet, they keep getting away with that claim.  Gee, I wonder if it’s because all of the major except one is controlled by a liberal agenda?  That’s a long ago proved fact and not a conspiracy theory, by the way.

The bottom line is, you don’t just give in, claiming it will save lives (what about American lives?).  In other words, you don’t make something legal, just because people will do it anyway.  Using that argument, why not make murder legal?  Of course, the response would be that murder harms people, illegal immigration doesn’t.  But I would beg to differ!  People are harmed!  That’s one less job that an American could be doing.  Of course, the liberals claim that they’re doing the jobs that Americans won’t do.  Excuse me, but how many Americans do you know that are turning down jobs these days?  And what about the illegals who can’t find work?  They have to eat, so they turn to crime.  This is not rocket science, folks!  Unless you can guarantee a job for every illegal immigrant?  And if you can do that, then why aren’t you doing it for jobless Americans?  And if you can’t do that, then why are you claiming that no illegal immigrants will be criminals here?  And what about people who have been murdered by illegal immigrants?  They don’t count?  Yes people, harm is done!  Yes, there are many poor people in Mexico that could use a better life.  But what about all of the homeless people here who are citizens, who lost their jobs and ended up on the street?  Why is it that Americans don’t count in your bleeding liberal heart?!  Why doesn’t it bleed for them?!

Anyway, of course it is also true that there are many people who want to come here from Mexico, who are sincerely looking for a better life for their families and of course, who can blame them?  Things aren’t exactly wonderful in Mexico.  While you may know a rich person here, making that claim in Mexico is quite different!  It’s more like;

Tourist: “So, do you know any rich people here in Mexico?”

Mexican: “Yes, senor.  The man down the street, he owns a chicken!”

Not quite the same, huh?  No, not at all.  So there has to be a better way, right?  Well here’s my idea in a nutshell.

A Mexican crosses the border using a passport (there’s separate corruption issues there on Mexico’s side).  He likes it here and wants to stay.  Grant him a 90 day Work Visa.  This entitles him to stay in the country and gives him up to 60 days to find work and at least 30 days of work time, which he must have under his belt when he reports back to renew it.  Should he do so, then he can be granted a 6 month extension to continue working here.

But what about his family, right?  Well, hang on, I’m getting there, guys.

Should that go well, he can then get a 1 year Work Visa and bring his immediate family (wife and children) into the country to live with him on a “Family Visa”, which would always expire on the same day as his Work Visa, which they can all renew again.

See?  Told ya!  And this gives him incentive to work and do well here in the United States and make at least Minimum Wage because it must be legal employment.  And hopefully, he can make more than minimum wage.

Finally, should he be gainfully employed, paying taxes, etc., etc. for a period of 3 years straight, then he and his family should be entitled to apply for U.S. citizenship.  And if they have no criminal background and having proved that they will be productive citizens here in the U.S. and passing the basic citizenship test, they should be granted citizenship.  And in my opinion, anyone who has a problem with this method is just seeking handouts for illegal immigrants, while letting U.S. citizens starve!

I have focused on men here, because in Mexico, from what I understand, they’re typically the ones who wil work, while women tend the home.  But certainly there will be cases where a woman wishes to take advantage of this opportunity and they should be treated exactly the same as the men.  And I’m sorry ladies, but no breaks because you get pregnant while you’re here.  Back you go, if you have not met the requirements!  Call it anti-woman, or anything you want.  But since you claim that you want equal treatment, then that’s what you’ll get!  Men would not get any allowance from the rules for pregnancy, so nether do you!  Unless of course you marry the person who got you pregnant.  Yes, that person.  There’s no “slutting it up” exemption.

Now of course, there would have to be close tracking of residence, etc..  And an extremely strong effort to catch and immediately deport anyone trying to game the system and anyone who doesn’t show up for renewal, or didn’t find work, etc..  I don’t care how bleeding heart you are, the United States of America is not the worlds welfare system (also see pregnancy above)!  Did you citizens forget that the money to pay for it comes out of your pocket?  Ever hear of taxes, which are supposed to pay for our own citizens?  And how is it that even liberals can complain that we spend too much on welfare and should train recipients for work and then demand that we pay welfare to illegal immigrants without question and no requirements?  Hello?  Self-contradict much?

Now this is my plan of course, in comparison to the badass immigration enforcement we have already.  So what is it that we’ve been doing about illegals in our country?  Besides offering them Driver’s Licenses, Welfare, Social Security and oh yea, that “No ID Necessary and No Questions, just give ’em the job” work policy we have, that is.

Well, it’s simple!  When Border Patrol catches illegals that have crossed the border (and let me stress “red handed” here, so guilt is not in question), instead of just dropping them over the fence back in Mexico (okay, fine, at the border crossing!), they have been releasing them on the U.S. side and giving them a ticket with a hearing date.  Because a hearing to determine if the guy you caught jumping the fence is guilty of jumping the fence before you can deport him is important, don’t you think?  And I’m quite sure that they’ll all show up, because those illegal immigrants would never do anything, well, illegal, right?

Oh well, at least they have been ordered to try to track them, because you know, illegals hiding from the government always stay where they say they’re going to be and would never, you know, move before the law gets there, right?

And so what’s been happening?  Oh yea, THEY HAVEN’T BEEN SHOWING UP FOR THEIR HEARINGS!

And when the law would go to pick them up, THEY MOVED TO WHO KNOWS WHERE!

Badass, huh?!

What really shocks me, is that these things happening was a big mystery to our president, whose administration was of course involved in setting up these policies.

But that’s okay, because now, according to Agent Brandon Judd, President of the National Border Patrol Council, the Obama Administration has come up with a new, even more badass illegal immigration policy, which is a result of their embarassment at how many don’t show up for their hearings.  Of course, I suppose the ones dumb enough to actually show up for a 100% chance of being deported deserve to be sent back, but that’s another story all by itself.

But anyway, due to this embarassment, this administration has decided to order all border patrol agents to in effect, “stand down”.

Now what does that mean?  It means that border patrol will watch the border and capture any people crossing over.  And then, once they catch them, they are simply to release them on the U.S. side.  Furthermore, they are no longer to attempt to track them.  That’s right.  No hearing date and no tracking.

In other words; “Yaaayyy!  You made it!  Now you’re free!  Go forth and plunder!”.

Seriously.  No kidding.  Those are their new orders!

You have to admit though, it’s brilliant on the part of the Obama Administration!  Why?  Because, what made them look so bad so far, is all that pesky paperwork that got filed, that would end up showing what a failure their plan was.  But now, if no tickets with hearing dates are issued and no tracking paperwork is generated and it’s basically just a catch and release, then there’s no pesky paper trail anymore and noone can tell you that your plan is not working!

So why have I been calling these plans “badass”?  Well, that’s very simple.  Because any time that you can create plans that are nothing more than ludicrous flights of fancy and wishful thinking such as these, that do nothing but the opposite of what a plan for this type of thing should do and not get booted out of office and you do not have people walking up to you just to laugh as loud as they can in your face, then my friend, you must be a badass!  It’s that simple!

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